If I lose that, I'm outa' here." And so it goes. I'll get just another hundred from the cash machine, and this time I'll really stick to my guns. After all, I did win $200 a half hour ago, even though I lost it with another stupid bet. I know I said I'd leave if I lost the hundred, but I just KNOW I can pull ahead. If, however, he stays until he's lost the hundred bucks, the situation might unfold as follows: "Oh, brother, I've lost another hundred. The inner conversation he has prior to his departure is likely short and sweet: "That's it, I'll never gamble again!" After losing 50 of his 100 bucks, he might have an epiphany and immediately storm out of the casino. The scenario could unfold in any number of ways once he re-enters the casino. It may not have been the right decision, but it at least frees him up to do what he's decided to do-maybe. This swirl of emotions created dissonance, and to quell it, he made a decision. Yeah, that's the plan, and I'm stickin' to it!"īefore having this little talk with himself, our gambler experienced a swirl of emotions in his head: regret, sadness, anger, frustration and shame, to mention just a few. I know, I'll get a little more money from the cash machine-just a hundred bucks and no more, and if I haven't gotten back the five hundred in the next hour, I'll definitely walk out then. On the other hand, I feel so bad having lost that money, I've just got to get it back somehow. "I swore to myself earlier to walk out if I lost the 500. The gambler in my illustration, who now is really stinging from having lost his mad money, probably has a little talk with himself, which might go as follows: Since most folks find it difficult to hold two conflicting ideas in their minds at the same time without feeling this dissonance, they kind of weigh the alternatives, make a decision, and then convince themselves through the process of rationalization that they've make a good decision, one that restores their equilibrium and gets them back into their comfort zone. Why? Because you are in the classic "on the one hand, but on the other hand" situation! You have just entered the realm of cognitive dissonance. What do you do? Walk out? Perhaps, but perhaps not. A couple hours later, you've lost it all. Before stepping into a casino, you swear to yourself that once the five-hundred is gone (of course, that will never happen, right?), you will quit and walk out of the casino. You arrive in Las Vegas with $500 in mad money in your pocket. The following illustration is probably better than a thousand-word definition. In other words, you've lost your equilibrium or homeostasis you're out of your comfort zone. When you experience cognitive dissonance, you are ill-at-ease and anxious. When you are in your comfort zone, you are at ease and free of anxiety. I'm just going to keep on coming back.Leon Festinger's concept of cognitive dissonance might help you. Because it's during those scary moments, those unsure steps taken, that I am able to see that I'm like a comet hitting a new atmosphere: suddenly I illuminate magnificently and fire dusts begin to fall off of me! I discover a smile I didn't know I had, I uncover a feeling that I didn't know existed in me. That I see and feel who I really am, the most! I think that's what a comet is like, you see, a comet is born in the outer realms of the universe! But it's only when it ventures too close to our sun or to other stars that it releases the blazing "tail" behind it and shoots brazen through the heavens! And meteors become sucked into our atmosphere before they burst like firecrackers and realize that they're shooting stars! That's why I enjoy taking myself out of my own element, my own comfort zone, and hurling myself out into the unknown. “I have realized it is during the times I am far outside my element that I experience myself the most.
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